Family: for better or for worse...

My family is very strange.  I'm sure a lot of people say this about their families and it may or may not be true, but when I compare my family to my friends families, mine seems rather...
weird.

I don't have a huge extended family with a lot of members, just a few with huge personalities.  My grandfather, when he was alive, was known for his chronic abuse of his mental filter.  He has approached a random stranger in a store and said, "Did you know you have one blue eye and one brown eye?!?"  He loved to point out ill fitting articles of clothing (especially undergarments) on his grandchildren and apparently, when he met my father for the first time, questioned him about his beard with the following statement: "Why are you cultivating on your face what grows wild on your a**?"  One of my uncles loves really ridiculous jokes and another has been banned from grocery shopping with his wife or children due to his inability (or disinterest) in controlling his own wind. 

When I was in high school, I invited my boyfriend to a family get-together.  I did try to warn him that they were a bit unusual but he insisted that he would be fine - after all how bad could it be? he said.  At the time, most likely due to my inexperience, I didn't realize just how unusual my family would appear to this guy. 
             Mistake #1: Introducing my boyfriend to all the members of my family at once.
I remember that I had been helping in the kitchen for awhile with some of the food so I went out to search for him. 
             Mistake #2: Leaving my boyfriend alone with all the members of my family at once.
When I finally found him, he was sitting in what can only be described as a vertical fetal position on the couch.  He refused to speak to me, even when I asked him if he was okay and if he wanted anything to eat or drink, simply answering my questions with a quick nod or shake of his head.  He spent the rest of the evening in this fashion and was VERY quiet during the drive home.  I'm surprised he was even able to drive, he seemed so traumatized.  I felt absolutely terrible for him and vowed I would NEVER do this to anyone else!  Shockingly, we did continue dating for awhile after this episode so I can only assume he was truly desperate for a girlfriend. 

My family considers me a bit of a prude - I know this because they have told me.  I have also shocked friends and co-workers when I have said or done something that is inspired by my relatives.  It is apparently so 'out of character' for me that no one really knows how to respond.  I usually apologize and start back-pedalling.  Friends that have known me for awhile are used to it but new acquaintances are often very confused! 

After reading all of this you might think that I dislike my family but nothing could be further from the truth - I love them very much just the way they are.  Why?  Because they love me just the way I am.  They know me, they know I'm a Christian and that I don't always appreciate certain jokes so they try to tone it down when I'm around.  I know them, so I don't get offended when someone makes an off-colour comment.  I can trust them to always tell me what they're thinking, even if it might be hurtful to hear it.  In a culture where it's acceptable to say one thing to a person's face and another behind their back, this is a wonderful gift.  Yes, they swear and drink and tease me because I don't, but I also know it's just that: teasing.  Having fun.  There is no pressure to be someone I'm not or to do something that I don't want to do.  Since no topic is taboo in my family, everything can be discussed including relationship problems.  I also know that, because they love me, they would have my back if I was ever in any trouble.  Some of my family members may seem rough on the outside but they have the biggest hearts of anyone I know. 

Yes, my family is very unusual.  They can be rude and crude.  They have been, and always will be, supportive and loving.  They are honest, caring, and accepting.  If this is considered the opposite to a normal family, I would much rather stick with the one I've got! 

I love you guys...

Thoughts on love, from a novice

To be honest, I’m not sure if I should be writing this.  I’m not used to being this personal or deep and then publishing it on the internet for anyone to read.  Also I have very little firsthand experience with men and love, so I can’t even pretend to be the voice of wisdom.  But, as I said before, I have to write what’s in my heart and not worry about who’s reading it.  So here goes. 

I think of myself as a practical romantic, if there is such a thing.  I still believe in chivalry, that a man should respect and support a woman, but I believe this should apply to women as well.  To expect something but to give nothing in return is not a good relationship.  I am pretty old-fashioned in that the physical part of the relationship would be very slow in developing and I would certainly never sleep with someone outside of marriage.  But to me, that’s not restrictive, that’s something to look forward to.  Since I have no experience, I would have nothing to compare him to and I could enjoy the experience of learning something new with someone that I will trust and love for the rest of my life.  Sometimes I wonder if I wasn’t born in the wrong era.  But then, earlier eras would have expected me to marry even if I wasn’t in love and I could never do that.  In fact, I think the only thing worse than being lonely is to marry someone knowing that you don’t love them but you haven’t found anyone better.  I don’t believe in love at first sight but I do believe that God can whisper to your heart that this person is going to be very important in your life as soon as you lay eyes on them. 

One of the things I look forward to is learning about all those little idiosyncrasies that make my special person who they are.  As Robin Williams said in Good Will Hunting “People call these things imperfections.  But they’re not, no, that’s the good stuff.  And then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds.”  I completely understand that the person for me will not be perfect.  I would probably find them intimidating if they were!  I don’t expect him to sweep me off my feet, strike an incredible silhouette against the setting sun, or impress my family with some amazing accomplishment.  He may not be handsome but I will find him attractive because I will love him, and I would know that he felt the same way about me.  We may argue or drive each other crazy sometimes, but forgiveness and acceptance would always be a huge part of the relationship.  I will wake up every day excited to learn more about this special person whom God has set aside for me. 

I know there are guys out there who would meet this description because I’ve met them.  Unfortunately they are always already married or in a relationship and of course I would never mess with that.  I know there is someone perfect for me out there but I have no idea when I will meet them or if I already have.  Perhaps I will never meet this person until I’m reunited with Christ and He introduces us.  I hope and pray that I will not have to wait that long – besides, if I meet him in heaven, then I won’t get to know all those little idiosyncrasies!  ;)

“Neither one of you is perfect.  But the question is, whether or not you’re perfect for each other.”  Robin Williams, Good Will Hunting

The Stupid Meter

I can't stand stupid.  Don't get me wrong, I love watching people do stupid things and I always enjoy reading about some Darwin Award recipients.  But I can't stand dealing with them.  I have this mental Stupid Meter that I use.  I suppose it's similar to those rain gauges they use when measuring precipitation: any time I interact with any type of stupid, some of it gets poured into this meter.   When the meter is full I become completely intolerant of any type of stupid, including any from myself.  If it begins to overflow, I start thinking about places to hide the bodies.  I not talking about the occasional brain fart - everyone gets those.  I think that's just part of the spice of life when a normal person does something stupid.  It doesn't happen very often, you're not expecting it, it's usually pretty funny so everyone, including the person who made the mistake, usually laughs hysterically and moves on with their lives.  No, I'm talking about the people who should think about fibre more often to help them deal with their constant mental flatulence. 

When I was a teacher, I used to say that I could teach anything: ADD, lazy, slow, disinterested, etc. But I can't teach stupid.  If you don't bring your brain to class, I can't help you.  I suppose that statement can seem harsh but what I meant was that I could empathise with just about any problem.  If a child has ADD it doesn't mean he can't learn, he just needs the right environment with less distractions.  If a child is lazy, she may not have had very much sleep the night before or she may be dealing with something at home that takes so much energy she has nothing left at school.  If a child is slow, it could be that she is so focused on the details of an assignment that she forgets about the time, similar to perfectionism.  If a child is disinterested, it is MY job to make learning fun so I would work to find something that could get his attention.  But stupidity can make a child stop using their basic God-given intelligence.  I firmly believe that NO ONE is born stupid, it's a learned behaviour.  It is often born from expecting other people to deal with your problems.  It then leads to haphazardly solving your own problems without thinking about the consequences. 

When I was in university, I was visiting a friend in her apartment dorm when we came across a guy attempting to make spaghetti in his room.  Normally this would not be a problem since there were mini kitchens in each apartment, but this guy just seemed so disgusted with his work that we poked our heads in to find out what was going on.  He was standing at the stove with a spatula in one hand and a beer in the other.  He would take a swig of beer, make a terrible nauseated face, then pour some beer into the pan.  When I asked what he was doing, he told me he had heard that some people would add wine to their food when it was cooking, but since he didn't have any wine he had to use his buddy's beer from the fridge.  He also admitted that he didn't like beer.
"So why use beer if you don't like it?", I asked.
"Well, I'm trying to get a buzz before we go out tonight but I don't like drinking beer so I thought I'd put it in my food so I could get it that way."
"I thought alcohol was burned off in the heat?  So, aren't you just ruining your food?"
When he looked at me as if I had two heads and poured more beer into his pan, my friend gently pulled me out of the room before I had a chance to say something I might regret.

Ready, set... go!

It could seem like a strange title to some but it actually suits me very well!  First off, I'm a big Tim Horton's fan.  And a Dairy Queen fan.  Basically any food store that puts more effort into their dessert menu than the main menu is high on my list of favourites.  As for Tim Horton's, one of my favourite things to order is a box of 10 timbits.  It's cheap, I can choose a few different flavours, and you get more donut for the dollar.  Okay, maybe I've just convinced myself of that last part but it makes me feel better!  Secondly, since I really haven't decided on a direction for this blog, it will probably have a wide variety of topics included and the only thing they will all have in common will be my personal opinion on them all. 

I decided to start writing a blog awhile ago but I couldn't figure out how to do it.  I also didn't think I would have anything important to say - if you don't have something great to say, why post it on the internet for all to see?, I thought.  Since then I've been following a few different blogs and I've realized that this is really just a chance to say whatever you want, whatever you're thinking.  It's like having a conversation with someone, someone who is interested in your ideas and opinions.  For someone like me, who doesn't really have that many people to talk to, it's very appealing.  Don't get me wrong, I have friends and family that I'm close to (my mom in particular!) but there are some topics that need... a different persective.  So I've decided to try my hand at 'blogging'.  It will most likely be similar to an internal dialogue or a prayer to God but if that's what I need to write, then that's what I'll do.

Just to warn you though, I also have a quirky sense of humour so there might be a little craziness going on here as well...  :D